He is Faithful

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." -Hebrews 10:23

Looking back in my journal from what I wrote 2 months ago, before moving to Buffalo and starting a new job and meeting new people and attempting to do things that I didn't feel prepared to do, I'm reminded of what Jesus has done. How faithful He has been. Where He has brought me from and what He has brought me through and where He is bringing me. It's something that even since writing it a short 2 months ago I have experienced to be true again and again: He who promised is faithful.

8/24/15

There's so many changes happening and I don't know how this is all going to work out. How I will pay for things and how I will live with all these other people. How I will be able to help the overwhelming amount of patients where I'll be working. I don't know how to start the discipleship group that God put on my heart to have, or who will be in it or if anyone will even come. I'm hanging on for dear life to Jesus. Because I just don't know, but I know that this isn't the first time I've felt like this, or that Jesus has proven Himself so, so faithful.

I remember when I didn't know why I felt so strongly about doing my thesis on water purification and how it related to malnutrition in developing countries. When idea after idea for the experiment I needed to come up with kept falling through and I was out of options and time was ticking. And I somehow stumbled onto a plant that could purify water, and was able to base my experiment off it and miraculously graduate on time. 

I remember when I said yes to an organization I had previously never heard of, to spend 7 months in Africa after graduating when I was supposed to be taking a certification exam and finding a job. When I had no idea what kind of nutrition help they needed or what they could offer and they told me they needed help with was the exact same plant I had used in my thesis study.

I remember going to Ivory Coast knowing barely any French or what I was doing and 7 months later being able to explain in my non-native tongue to a father how to manage his young son's diabetes with the education materials that had been written in French for a diabetes support group we had started. This was so not me. It was all completely just GOD. 

I remember coming back knowing nothing again and waiting waiting waiting for something to do next, frustrated and impatient and unstable. And even though I didn't deserve it He was constant, patient, and unmoving, and I came to know Him even more as the anchor for my wandering and restless soul. 

I remember when I wanted to get involved with refugees in Buffalo and was matched with a mentee and had no idea how to communicate with her or what we would do together. And watching her baby being born and hearing her say at the end of our "mentorship" that it never mattered what we ended up doing because just that we were able to spend time together made all the difference.

I remember when I was invited to be leader as a part of a group called Young Life, an outreach to teenagers that involves going where the kids are and living life with them wherever they are at so that they will have a chance to hear and know and respond to the good news that is Jesus, and every part of me that wanted to stay in my comfort zone fought the idea. I didn't like teenagers, I had no idea how to relate to them or how it would work out. And even with this, all Jesus needed was my yes because He changed my heart to love these kids and know their names, stories, and lives. He gave me a family made up of the other leaders that I serve with and have grown with and been challenged by, and all I can say looking back is that God is so GOOD in the middle of it all. He is faithful when I don't know (which is often). But I know Him and that He is God, again and again, and He will not fail. 

So here we go again. Trusting over all the unknowns that Jesus is greater. And knowing that I will see His faithfulness again, experiencing His grace and provision and things that would be impossible on my own. His power, love, forgiveness, freedom, joy. Him. Jesus. I don't ever want to stop knowing Him and falling in love.